Two. Weeks.
In some ways it seems like it's taken forever to get here, but at the same time it feels like the time has flown by.
On September 2, 2010 I sent an email to a few of my close friends explaining our "new plan" to find a surrogate to carry our precious embryos since it had been determined that I would never be able to support a pregnancy. I was crushed and brokenhearted.
On September 12, 2011 a friend of a friend left a comment on my blog suggesting I check out the "bucket list" that was on her blog. The #1 item on her list took my breath away and immediately brought tears to my eyes: "Be a surrogate mother for a Christian family." Suddenly my heart was full of hope and excitement!
Fast-forward 11 months and here we are with a number of doctors visits under our belts (mostly Sally's), 4 copies of a 26-page contract signed & notarize, medications paid for and being injected and/or soaked into the body of this beautiful lady (whom I now call friend), embryos shipped from the storage facility to our clinic, and a transfer date schedule for exactly 2 weeks from today.
I can hardly believe it. Also, I know I have mentioned this before (and I'm sure it won't be the last time)...
...but I am scared to death.
We have to do this to give our precious, tiny babies a chance at life, but I'm so very afraid of losing them.
We have been clinging to the hope that our dreams will become a reality for two years.
We have been wishing and praying and hoping to become parents for even longer than that.
I feel pretty justified in being scared, even though I know God did not give us a spirit of fear... but of power, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). It's hard to control my fear in a situation like this, but I am trying (with the help of some great prescription drugs!).
We would all appreciate your prayers on August 29, specifically that our first embryo will thaw and develop like a champ (so that the 2nd one doesn't have to be thawed), and that Sally's body will be perfectly prepared to accept this tiny life and he/she will snuggle in for 9 months. It's an amazing miracle to think about how that process can even take place. Please pray that we will remember that God is in control of this every step of the way.
I know from experience that the 2WW (two-week wait until the blood test that tells us if this attempt was successful) is going to feel
like an eternity, and it's going to be even more difficult to control my
anxiety during those few days, so I would appreciate your prayers on
that, too.
Also, a small sidenote that I have mentioned to most of my friend's, but Sally's friends may not be aware of... My husband lost his job last week so now we have that uncertainty hanging over our heads. We relocated over 1100 miles for this job, so we're currently in a part of the country where we don't know very many people, and neither of our families are close by. We would prefer not to move again since I love my job and we're feeling pretty settled here. Also, we don't want to move any further away from Sally and her family... you know... just in case... ;) Six hours is plenty far enough already!
Anyway, sorry if this post is a bit rambly. I guess I needed to do a little brain dump. Thanks for bearing with me. :)
-E
Loved, loved reading your update, dear. Praying for you every day. I know the added pressure of keeping up with everyone, feeling like all of our hearts are in the balance can add more stress, but know that we're all on your side, we want to know the ramblings no matter the outcome. Praying that God is your strength and continued comfort.
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